Monday, April 28, 2008


I wish Kamal was a part-time pedicurist. My obstetrician is going to examine the state of my edema tomorrow, yet I can't reach my toenails to cut them. Not without muscle strain.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Live and Love

When I woke up with a swollen right hand this morning, I quickly looked into the mirror to check for other signs of edema, particularly on the face. Puffy it was, but not excessively, which has been the norm for me since entering the middle of second trimester.

Next, I googled for preeclampsia. I did experience proteinuria, which is one of the symptoms. The rest of the list such as hypertension, change of vision, nausea, and vomitting did not occur to me though. Furthermore, I have religiously visited my obstetrician before and while carrying Little C. Therefore, with a peace of mind, I continued solving a challenging sudoku.

When the going got tough with the sudoku, I blog-hopped. Partly, I believe it was my intention to seek for a pain solution that I landed upon this post by a yoga instructor. Reading materials with positive tone elevate life to a greater meaning. As for the aforementioned post, the mention of a visualisation technique she practised to heal a kidney condition reminded me of how my life was changed with another visualisation method which, I also believed and still believe, was and is another form of prayer. I further ventured into other feel-good articles.

What I acquired through the little reading this morning is the forgotten fact that intentions are powerful. I am what I myself ingrain in my system. Therefore, I am responsible for every single thing that takes place in my life. Even for the negative occurrences, which shall be treated as contrastive experiences. To quote my best friend, "contrast provides clarity."

Pain, in an instance, provides a space for a person to better appreciate pleasure. In this pregnancy, despite muscle discomfort that turns walking to waddling, despite edema that makes a pleasurable routine like applying make-up an agony as I face the mirror, despite a low period caused by the sudden physical and emotional changes which impeded me from pursuing my passion, I forgot how smooth it has been otherwise. A cousin who was bed-ridden during the whole period of her three pregnancies was bemused with the non-existence of morning sickness throughout mine.

The eczema that threatened my skin during first trimester gave way to glowing complexion. Nightmares, which consequently induced insomnia, offered me more reasons to write in my paper journal. My metabolism is at its peak, resulting in no constipation. My hair is most lustrous as I am no longer plagued with hair loss problem. To top the blessing is the presence of lovely family members and friends, as well as Little C.

How a mere reading in the morning rejuvenates me. Us. All in all, let's surround ourselves with positivity.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Jus Alpukat

Jus Alpukat at Waroeng Penyet, jom.

You will bring me back to the rugged adventure to and fro Melaka - Bukit Tinggi.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

These, Those

My weekend for the previous week started on Thursday, only to last on Friday. Saturday until today have been work back to back with a break on Sunday and Monday evening. Oh, my weekend for the previous week started on Wednesday evening actually, when Fique initiated a dinner with Ayue and Seh.

Ikan Kerapu Kukus Limau
Tom Yam Makanan Laut
Telur Bungkus
Udang Goreng Tepung
Sayur Campur
Jus Buah-buahan

There was a course on Thursday. I met my colleagues from other ministries, agencies, and states. I also had a feast with K-Lynn after the course ended. Syok, knowing that such a feast is only forgivable for the next three months.

Lempeng Berlauk
Coklat Ais
(Too bad I did not get the cupcake promised. Heh.)

On Friday evening, my parents hosted a gathering in Rembau. To mark Little C's journey into this world and to welcome Ayah Soh with his family. My parents-in-law took the trouble to come to my parents' place. For the gathering, my mother-in-law even cooked Gulai Kawah Kambing.


Nasi Lemak
Rendang Itik Serati
Milo O

Snek Pagi:

Kuih Denderam

Makan Tengah Hari:

Singgang Ikan
Tempe dan Tauhu Cili
Sirap Ais

Snek Petang:

Kuih kacang

Makan Malam:

Gulai Kawah Kambing
Ikan Tenggiri Masak Lemak Cili Api
Ayam Goreng Rempah
Sayur Campur
Sambal Belacan
Sirap Ais

Snek Malam:
Karipap Pusing
Kuih Talam

Ah, there goes my documentation of my life, which seems like a food journal. It was an exciting yet tiring week anyway. What keeps me going for another three weekdays of work are these thoughts:

Anis hugging me while she slept
Anis and Haris kissing the bulge where Little C has been
Haris pointing at a yellow digger, and, he learned the phrase from a book I bought for him
My cheerful colleagues
Kamal and his sweetness

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

A Chanting

Mojo, mojo!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Yuszary and Azura

C'est si bon.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Made of Dreams

Amazing how my body and soul prepare for motherhood. The physical changes aside, I now wake up precisely four hours after I first drifted to dreamland. I believe this is a breastfeeding awakening minus the baby. The substantial aspect here being my state of consciousness. I am simply awake.

Pre-pregnancy, I termed such occasion a predicament. No matter how aware I was that early dawn is a sacred time during which soul-enriching activities are best performed, I would lull myself back to sleep as relaxation was my priority then. Waking up at such hour was often associated with anxiety. Sometimes, dreams.

A note. Dreams are proven to be more vivid during pregnancy due to increased production of estrogen that prolongs the rapid eye movement period of sleep. During the first trimester, I dreamt of my unborn child's safety as an earthquake shook the building I was in. Similar pattern of nightmares consequently awoke me at odd hours, often inducing restlessness. Shifting into the second trimester, the nightmares have been replaced with pleasant vision. Perhaps, the talk I had with Kamal regarding those nightmares helped. Nowadays, I dreamt of my mother's beautiful garden and the joy of holding Little C.

Miraculously, the delightful dreams changed the manner I was awoken. I would be at ease. Instead of lulling myself back to sleep, I indulged in my pet projects such as reading to me and Little C, conversing with my thoughts through writing and drawing, and attempting to meditate. I interacted with Kamal, too. To be more precise, I interacted with a sleeping Kamal, too, partly to amuse myself with his subconscious responses, and partly to arouse him from sleep for he has a major role to play in early dawn feeding of the baby. He shall elaborate on that particular topic himself, in a separate post.

Not everything is rosy in the second trimester's delightful dreams phase though. There is one dream that actually reduced me to tears in my sleep. It tickled Kamal afterwards as I shared it with him.

In the dream, I was in the third trimester. Kamal and I were visiting Ayoh and Mok with the rest of The Ketereh Clan. The afternoon we arrived, I experienced a sudden craving for fried noodle. Since tea time was approaching, I decided to put my sister-in-law's Fried Noodle 101, which I acquired during the previous visit to Ketereh, into another round of practice. The two times that I served my version of fried noodle to Kamal in Bangi, he, in his critique's cap, gave two thumbs up.

Therefore, I diligently prepared the ingredients and the accompanying condiments. Blended fresh red chillies, tomatoes, garlics, and shallots. Juicy whole prawns and tender chicken slices. Soy sauce, thin and thick. A dash of oyster sauce. A pinch of salt and sugar. Oh, the aroma was perfect. Next, I poured the noodle into the frying pan, only to find it overwhelmed by the gravy. I frantically searched the refrigerator for more packets of noodle, to no avail. Too late for any modification, I thought. I was too panic to think of other solutions anyway. The only logical thing I did was to put the fire at its slowest mode.

"Aishah buak gapo ssoghe sini?" My mother-in-law's voice. Mok has always been a sympathetic mother-in-law, so I had no qualm in telling her the whole ordeal. She took a peek at the simmering noodle flooded in gravy, turned to me and shouted, "mi goreng sene pung buleh telebih tumih?" Her reaction really shocked me that I ran to my room and sobbed uncontrollably. From the room, I overheard my nephews and nieces' voices, condemning me for not being able to perform what to them was an easy task.

I started to pray, "God, please let this be a dream." I continued chanting in my tears, "God, please let this be a dream; God, please let this be a dream; God, please let this be a dream." It was, of course. Next pet project for the breastfeeding awakening is to document the dreams dreamt during this pregnancy in my paper journal.

Friday, April 11, 2008


Routine, is a homicide. Spontaneity, is an aphrodisiac. To me.

Yesterday, out of the blue, I threw an idea to Kamal, "let's go back to Rembau tonight."
"I am tired though."
"I could drive for you."
"Or, I could drive for you. You could do something else for me."
"Which is?"
"Go to bed without the usual oil lathering."
"A deal there."

The real deal was to visit my parents. Simultaneously, my uncle and aunt from Brunei were there. I suspected dinner to be special.

Sembilang Salai Masak Lemak Cili Padi Belimbing Buluh.
Sembilang Berlada.
The sembilang were fresh from another uncle's pond.

How apt. At breakfast the next day, my mother even offered freshly fried sembilang in a bento box. Now, all I need is a dose of Cendol Kacang Merah during lunch hour.

Back to last evening, after dinner, Kamal set up Skype call for us to interact with my uncle and aunt's daughter in Gloucester. Her children are gorgeous. At bedshire, Kamal religiously lathered baby oil to soothe my back, the earlier deal was disillusioned by the deliciousness of the traditional meal and the gaiety of family gathering.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

His Favourite

He wrote:

I love whiteness. It is serene, calming. I truly love white for the mysterious effects that it has on me.

And, yes dearest, we are all ready for Little C. :)

I was in the sixth week of pregnancy at the time his favourite scene was captured. Kamal was playing with our new toy then. Somehow, arranging tiny pebbles into forms engrossed me that I was not aware Kamal was photographing away.

At the moment, we are waiting for a particular photo of Little C. He was smiling. The photo would be in our hands during the next appointment with the obstetrician. That shall be our favourite photo of Little C before his arrival in this world.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

A Tag

The linking tag.

The rules:

1. List five favourite links.
2. Tag five more people to share their links, so we would be able to share good links with each other.
3. The links must be clean.

My daily must-haves at the moment:

Google Reader 
so I know when to pester Kamal for a new post in his first blog.

Merriam Webster Online 
because I am a language geek
to perk me up during lunch hour.

Chech: Eccentric
for the links that lead me to numerous great readings.

and other parenthood-related sites.

I love tags. They give me reasons to update. Give you reasons to update yours, too, eh?

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Good Day, Little C

What a gorgeous start to the day. The birds are singing. The plants are dancing. The rain is coming, thus the windy morning.

Which altogether churns a thought. Daddy and I are thankful you are here to share the beautiful world with us. We love you.